It’s not OK

It’s time we dig ourselves out of this rut!!!

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It’s not ok to accept unhappiness and defeat. It’s not ok to wake up without purpose, motivation, and something to look forward too. It’s just not ok. In the middle of the storm, it can be so hard to see that the sun is shining somewhere else. We invest so much into our careers, school, friends, and relationships that the thought of change is paralyzing. The thought of all you have invested not being there is a chilling one. But in our hearts, we know that not making a change isn’t how we want to live the rest of our lives. Personally, I have so many dreams, goals, and ambitions that have never been achieved. Far too often I wake up and forget that I have a choice just as you do. We can get busy living in the rut we created or we can get busy digging our way out.

What about all the things you’ve built or achieved in your current endeavors? You may not be happy but you can’t just throw in the towel, can you? There may be a few ways to look at this. Are you really losing anything? All that experience will still be with you no matter what you do. Memories don’t disappear just because you move on. You may not have a corner office but you also may not wake up dreading your day either. No matter what we choose to do there will be challenges and I’m not talking about giving up when it gets hard. That might be the best time to double down but when you look in the mirror we both know that being challenged and being unhappy is not the same.

If you are at the point where you know there only one direction for you to go make damn sure you take it. Don’t accept the pain, misery or sadness of settling. We only get one chance on this planet and every day you don’t at least push toward your dream is a day lost. Whether you are 15, 45 or 75 you still have days that are precious in the tank. Let’s not let them go to waste.

Don’t do as I do

Reflection and perspective

Don’t do as I do and I won’t say as I don’t do. That makes no sense but let me do some explaining.

I was wrong. I said a lot of things and some of them were spot on, some of them weren’t. I can’t go back in time and change them but what I can do, what we can all do is accept that we made an error in what we said and grow from it.
Being complicit in something and then chastising someone for the same thing is the definition of hypocritical. Yesterday I found myself playing just such a hypocrite and for that I was wrong. I wouldn’t take back anything that I did but I would take back what I said (Yes, that makes it worse but I don’t care).

The message wasn’t wrong but for me to be the one to deliver it was. Who am I to call the kettle black??? I’m obviously fixated on one particular comment but I’m sure I’ve done this so many times I couldn’t count that high. So here I am taking a stand publically and apologizing to those who witnessed me talking out of both sides of my mouth.

Sometimes you just have to make up your own rules

So If you want to be my personal Jesus then go right ahead.

I’m happy but couldn’t be less satisfied. Does that make any sense? I doubt everyone will understand. I make the choices I make for a complex set of reasons I share with no one. What you care about I simply don’t. The things that put a smile on your face bore me. The things society says I should need are things that I simply reject. I don’t consider myself to be weird or someone who is trying to buck the system or even draw attention to myself. Sometimes you just have to make up your own rules

I will have what I want. I will get that which is deserved to be it good or bad. Until then, like most of you, my patience will wear thin as I sit patiently waiting. Little does anyone know that I don’t have an ounce of patience in my bones? That’s why I struggle with satisfaction. It is also what drives me to toss “important” things to the side in pursuit of what I want.

LIke the song goes “my give a damn busted”. I have no time or energy to compromise anymore. Time changes things and time has changed me. I don’t crave approval like I used to. I don’t give a shit about what you think I should want or need or do. I just don’t care because nine times out of ten those things lead down a road I’m not traveling. I haven’t been on that path in years. I’ve made too many mistakes to not have learned that doing for doing’s sake is a fool’s errand. I see others all around me running on the wheel like a hampster and decide to take a rain check.

So If you want to be my personal Jesus then go right ahead. I won’t stop you. Part of me might even be flattered that you care. Just don’t be surprised when I don’t play along because I’ve already been talking to Jesus all my life and he’s been telling me everything is going to be alright.