Reflection and perspective
Don’t do as I do and I won’t say as I don’t do. That makes no sense but let me do some explaining.
I was wrong. I said a lot of things and some of them were spot on, some of them weren’t. I can’t go back in time and change them but what I can do, what we can all do is accept that we made an error in what we said and grow from it.
Being complicit in something and then chastising someone for the same thing is the definition of hypocritical. Yesterday I found myself playing just such a hypocrite and for that I was wrong. I wouldn’t take back anything that I did but I would take back what I said (Yes, that makes it worse but I don’t care).
The message wasn’t wrong but for me to be the one to deliver it was. Who am I to call the kettle black??? I’m obviously fixated on one particular comment but I’m sure I’ve done this so many times I couldn’t count that high. So here I am taking a stand publically and apologizing to those who witnessed me talking out of both sides of my mouth.
We all have our personal causes that we champion. For some of us it’s cancer and for others it’s autism. I have had the unfortunate experience in life watch many around me battle heart disease in one form or another for what seems like my entire life. So If you can show your support it would be appreciated as this event showcased below is directly involving those close to me. Large donations would obviously be the most helpful but anything you can part with still advances the cause. If you can’t give anything which many of us can’t then just a comment or a like would still mean a lot.
Click here to donate
So If you want to be my personal Jesus then go right ahead.
I’m happy but couldn’t be less satisfied. Does that make any sense? I doubt everyone will understand. I make the choices I make for a complex set of reasons I share with no one. What you care about I simply don’t. The things that put a smile on your face bore me. The things society says I should need are things that I simply reject. I don’t consider myself to be weird or someone who is trying to buck the system or even draw attention to myself. Sometimes you just have to make up your own rules
I will have what I want. I will get that which is deserved to be it good or bad. Until then, like most of you, my patience will wear thin as I sit patiently waiting. Little does anyone know that I don’t have an ounce of patience in my bones? That’s why I struggle with satisfaction. It is also what drives me to toss “important” things to the side in pursuit of what I want.
LIke the song goes “my give a damn busted”. I have no time or energy to compromise anymore. Time changes things and time has changed me. I don’t crave approval like I used to. I don’t give a shit about what you think I should want or need or do. I just don’t care because nine times out of ten those things lead down a road I’m not traveling. I haven’t been on that path in years. I’ve made too many mistakes to not have learned that doing for doing’s sake is a fool’s errand. I see others all around me running on the wheel like a hampster and decide to take a rain check.
So If you want to be my personal Jesus then go right ahead. I won’t stop you. Part of me might even be flattered that you care. Just don’t be surprised when I don’t play along because I’ve already been talking to Jesus all my life and he’s been telling me everything is going to be alright.